


fairytales are useless when they don't apply to your life

by orphan_account



Series: The Ever Changing Constant Universe [11]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, GTA AU, Heists, M/M, The Fake AH Crew, Torture, Violence, kidnappings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 21:06:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6626281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon's first heist goes well if you mean well in the terms of if they got the money.<br/>If you mean well in the terms of no one getting kidnapped, then no. It did not go well. It went pretty regrettably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fairytales are useless when they don't apply to your life

“So, Jon, how’s your first heist going?” Kerry asks over the coms. Jon snorts.

“Kerry, this is most definitely not my first heist.” Jon kicks a door open and looks around the corner. “Clear!” Miles comes in behind him.

“I call left!” Miles bolts down the hall and goes through another door.

“God damn.” Meg swears. “This is such a big bank.”

“The better to steal money from.” Lindsay says, her grin somehow audible over the coms.

“Loser.” Jeremy laughs. “Quoting fairytales. Fucking weeb.”

“Jeremy, I swear to god! You have a gun! Use it!” Trevor says, indignant.

“Lindsay, third door over. The money’s yours.” Kerry curses under his breath. “Uh, guys, the Fakes are here.”

“Those fuckers!” Lindsay shouts, voice loud in their ears. “Not fuckin’ fair, we’re here already. Somebody scare them off, please.”

“On it!” Jeremy says.

“Use your gun, idiot!” Trevor calls after him. “How’d they find us?” This he says more quietly.

“Popular hit spot, I’d assume.” Jon says, kicking another door open. “Clear! Sorry, guys.” 

“Not your fault, Jon. Means the money is going to be better.” Lindsay says. Jon ducks around a corner and there is someone in front of his face. Their guns are pointed at each other in a split second, and Jon warily steps the rest of the way through the door.

“Not clear, guys. I’ve got a Fake, Free.” He can hear the muttered curses.

“Keep him busy, yeah?” Meg requests. “We’re almost through here.”

“I got it.” He says. “So, Free. What are you doing here?” They begin to step in small circles.

“A heist, mate.” Gavin says, smiling widely. “You too, then?” There is a click and a clatter and they both look down at the small cylinder rolling into the room.

“Oh fu-” There is a dense cloud in the small room and the off-white darkens to black, but that might just be the inside of his eyelids.

He wakes up quickly, something he’s learned to do. However, he doesn’t anticipate being tied to anything, so he jolts forward and his wrists rub on the rope. He groans, audibly. He’s really getting tired of this. Just because he doesn’t look like he can hold his own, doesn’t mean that he can’t. He totally can. Multiple people will back him up on this, but none of them are around right now. His mind snaps back into his body and he focuses himself to focus on looking around, painfully tilting his head and twisting his neck. 

Free is tied to a chair just across the room from him, trademark smile absent from his lips, but he is watching Jon. That much is obvious. Jon is about to speak when the door swings open, creaking loudly on its hinges. 

“Hello, boys.” He says, flipping a knife between his fingers. It’s an intimidation technique and Gavin and Jon exchange glances. They’ve both seen this before. “What, no greeting for me?” He steps closer to Gavin. “You got something to say, kid? You will soon, anyway.” he chuckles at his own joke and Jon rolls his eyes. To Gavin’s credit, he doesn’t flinch when the man drags the knife down his arms, but Jon can see pain in his eyes.

“What are you messing with him for?” Jon spits the words out of his mouth like poison. “If you knew anything at all, you’d know that I was the one who has all the info.” The man turns to him, grinning sickly.

“Oh, is that so? Clearly you’ve never done this before.” Jon wants to roll his eyes at the man’s words, but he does not. He shows no reaction as the man cuts into his arms, no rapid breathing, no flinching. He blinks slowly and lets his eyelids flutter in mock-boredom. This isn’t his first rodeo.

If he was alone, he’d be playing this differently. If he was alone, he wouldn’t say anything at all, he’d let the torturer get bored of him. But this is different, because he is not alone. Gavin is watching with wide eyes as blood trails down Jon’s arms. And Jon is cursing himself for doing this, deflecting the heat onto himself, but he did not want to see Gavin get hurt. That’s probably one of the biggest things Gavin has to his advantage, people seeing him and instantly wanting to protect him.

But the man does get bored, eventually, and he leaves, muttering promises about how he’ll be back. Jon cranes his head to look at the wounds. They aren’t bad, he’s done worse to himself, and he’s grown numb to the pain by now. Jon’s main focus now is getting out of the bonds.

Gavin watches as Jon struggles with the heavy rope, shifting his weight back and forth in the chair and straining against the fibers. Jon braces himself, takes a breath, and pulls his wrist forward with too much force, normally enough to get him out of any ropes with the small sacrifice of dislocating his wrist. This time, however, it only dislocates his wrist and the rope does not budge. He starts to pull at it again, ignoring the flaring pain.

“Christ, are you a masochist?” Gavin asks, voice hoarse. “Stop that. You can’t get out.” Reluctantly, Jon falls still. “Why are you protecting me?” Jon shrugs as much as he can.

“Ramsey will kill me if anything happens to you. His golden boy, right?” He asks.

“Same goes for Tuggey, though.” Gavin protests. “If you’re trying so hard to keep me alive, don’t let yourself get hurt so much.” Jon shakes his head.

“This has happened before, it’s fine. I’ve had far worse stuff happen in my past, neither Tuggey nor I will freak out about this.” Jon says and Gavin narrows his eyes.

“Look, just hang on, okay? My crew will be here soon. They’ll get us both out. The Fakes come back for their own.” Jon opens his mouth to make a sharp retort, but the door creaks open again. Jon swears that this guy has impeccable timing for stopping him saying what he wants to.

“Look at you.” He sneers at Jon. “All trussed up like a turkey. Where are you trying to go, little turkey?” On an impulse, Jon spits at the man, and even he has to admit that that probably wasn’t a good impulse. The man pulls Jon’s t-shirt over his head and then there is water, water, water and Jon is drowning he’s drowning he’ll di-

He forces him to stop panicking, but it’s still lying just beneath his skin as he struggles to breath. And then there’s pain, a sudden throbbing sensation in his leg with a crack that really shouldn’t have happened.

The man’s leaving is punctuated with the creak of the door and Jon really, really wants them to invest in some oil because that noise will drive him crazy before anything else does.

He shakes the sopping t-shirt over his head and allows himself to take a shaky breath. He can see Gavin watching him through strands of his dripping hair. And then Jon lets himself panic, tucking his chin down against his chest and taking too quick breaths and fooling himself into believing that he can not breathe.

He calms down eventually and he can see Gavin watching him again. Gavin’s slightly blurry and Jon realizes that he must be woozy from blood loss and the sudden lack of adrenaline in his body. 

There is an explosion and his whole frame of vision shakes. Jon hops to God that it’s his crew, his family, God, he needs them, he wants them.

Gavin is talking to him, but he sounds so far away. Gavin’s voice finally fades into the mellow darkness.

He comes to in another chair and he is just so sick of this repetition. Just once can’t he wake up in a really soft bed? Is once too much to ask for?

The door swings open and thank God that this one does not squeak.

“Tide.” It’s Ramsey, looking kind of scruffy and not that well put together. Jon can excuse that, though, one of his crew just got kidnapped. He wonders how Lindsay’s doing. “Good to see you here.”

“Really?” Jon asks. “I mean, I’m tied to this chair, so I guess you really want to keep me here.”

“Damn straight, kid.” Geoff leans forward. “Let’s talk business.” The door swings in and Gavin ducks in. As it turns out, he looks very different when he’s not tied to a chair.

“Geoff, Jack wants you!” As soon as Geoff is out the door, he’s kneeling behind Jon and undoing the ropes. “We’re going to give you back, yeah?” He puts Jon’s good arm over his shoulder and helps him hobble out.

Somehow in some remarkable way, Gavin manages to get him to and in a car without stumbling once. The engine coming to life hurts Jon’s head, but he’ll be fine.

“I’m really sorry about all of this.” Gavin says as he stops at the docks. “I didn’t want Geoff to tie you up again.” Jon shakes his head.

“It’s good.” He says. “This is literally my job.” Gavin snorts. The car door open suddenly and he is being carefully taken out by Jeremy and Meg. 

“Be careful, Tide.” Gavin calls through the window and he drives away, tires squealing. Everyone starts to talk to him and he stumbles, falling to his side on the rough concrete. For the third time that day, everything goes black.

He comes to on a really soft bed, so maybe that wasn’t too much to ask for after all.

“You motherfucker.” Lindsay’s voice is quiet and Jon fixes his gaze on her. “You let yourself get beat up so that kid wouldn’t? What the fuck were you thinking?” Lindsay pulls Jon into a careful hug. “We were all so worried. I’m sorry we didn’t get there sooner.”

“It’s fine, Linds. I’ve done this before. Besides,” He grins. “Ramsey’s got a debt to us now.” Lindsay laughs and pats him on the back, gently.

“Good man, Jon. Next time, though, don’t let yourself get hurt. You hear me?” She asks and Jon nods.

“Aye aye, captain!”

**Author's Note:**

> a bird? a plane? nope it's an update.  
> want to take me rollerskating? comment!  
> got a person/ship you want me to put in this? comment!  
> got a prompt for me to write? comment!


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